Emotional signs that your child is being bullied

• Mood swings and apparent changes in personality. Young people who are bullied can react by becoming withdrawn or becoming aggressive themselves and can swing between having too much energy and too little. Children and young people who are made to feel vulnerable and frustrated by bullying that happens outside the home often react by expressing their frustration in outbursts of anger when they are back in the relative safety of their home.

Even the most even-tempered child, and particularly teenager, will have changeable moods, but as a parent or carer you know your child and if he/she is behaving in a way that you feel is out of character, particularly if he/she seems far angrier and/or more withdrawn than usual, it would be a good idea to talk to him/her about what is making him/her angry or upset.

• Constant anxiety/nervousness. If your child always seems on edge and afraid.
  
• Depression – you may feel that your child seems depressed or she/he may say to you that she/he is feeling depressed.
• Tearfulness for no apparent reason, particularly if he/she gets tearful at the thought of going to meet with friends, going to school/PRU/youth group; or is regularly tearful after getting home from a particular activity.
• Lack of confidence and negative self-image. Young people who are being bullied often put themselves down and don’t value their abilities. They may apologise for themselves a lot and automatically assume that they are about to be told off when you approach them. You can help your child generally, by praising them for their skills, abilities and qualities and trying to give them the opportunity to show and experience them. If they talk very negatively about themselves, ask why they feel that way and try to show them the things about themselves that are good and that you and they have reason to be proud of.
• Hostility and defensiveness. Young people who are being bullied may complain of feeling or seem to feel picked on. Again, if your child is being bullied they may automatically assume that you only approach them to find fault and tell them off. The powerlessness and humiliation that people on the receiving end of bullying often feel can make them very angry and you may find that a child who is being bullied lashes out verbally and physically. If your child is displaying this sort of anger, try not to respond by just being angry yourself, but ask her/him what is causing these feelings.